As a working dad I have never had as much time with my son and fiancée as I would have liked, but this last week has been even more difficult. In fact I would go as far to say it was heart wrenching at times.
It started at the weekend which I spent away from my family at the Open golf championships in Lytham. Don’t get me wrong it was a fantastic two days, sun was shining, the golf was excellent, but I missed them terribly. Unfortunately the weekend came and went and my working week has not helped. Two long meetings at the wrong end of the day saw me getting home late, either side of a game of golf that also resulted in a late finish. All of this together has meant I have seen very little of my son this week.
That is bad enough in itself but it has also effected our interaction. I used to come home and would come scurrying over to me with a big grin and we would sit and play. This week he still comes scurrying over but as soon as I go in for my cuddle he shifts and starts to look for his mum. If she had left the room he starts to get anxious. God forbid she leaves the house, we had to sit on a wall on the drive while he watched every car come past in the hope his mum was returning. It is the first and only time he has cried when I have been on my own with him, not a happy time for either of us.
Is this his way of punishing me for not be around to spend time with him as much as I should? Has his bond with his mum become that strong in the last week that me, his dad cannot break it and make him feel comfortable in just my company? I will be honest it has hurt, I know it isn’t his fault or my OH’s. It isn’t in fact really my fault, the golf was a gift, the meeting unavoidable yet I do feel guilty.
There is as always a silver lining and this morning after a good sleep he woke a very happy and chirpy boy with the biggest smile when he saw me. Tonight I will race home and hope he has remembered who I really am.